Let’s be honest: we’ve all been there. The incessant overthinking. The self-criticism that creeps in when we least expect it, telling us we’re not good enough. The mental hamster wheel spinning so fast that it feels like we’ll never stop questioning ourselves. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
If youve ever found yourself caught in the self-doubt spiral, you know exactly how paralyzing it can be. But here’s the truth—self-doubt is not some quirky side effect of being human. Its actually a trauma response. Yep, you read that right. And just like any trauma, it doesn’t magically disappear with time. It needs to be healed. But how do we start?
Overthinking: The Gateway to the Spiral
Overthinking is often the gateway that lets self-doubt flood in. We second-guess every decision, replay past conversations, and imagine every possible scenario that could go wrong. It’s the “what if?” game, but on overdrive. The more we overanalyze, the more we spiral, because when we’re constantly questioning ourselves, we lose sight of the bigger picture.
But here’s the catch: overthinking is an emotional reaction to fear. Fear that we’re not enough, fear of being judged, fear of failure. When we allow this fear to take control, the inner critic takes center stage, feeding us lies and making us believe we’re not capable.
That’s when self-doubt turns into a monster we can’t escape.
Self-Doubt: A Trauma Response
It’s important to recognize that self-doubt doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—it stems from past experiences, often unresolved trauma. Whether it’s a toxic workplace, harsh criticism from others, or moments where you weren’t validated, these experiences leave emotional scars. Over time, they become the lens through which we view ourselves, constantly questioning our worth and abilities.
So, why is it called trauma? Because it leaves us with an emotional wound that affects how we perceive ourselves, often triggering self-doubt in situations where we should feel confident. Our brain starts to associate certain scenarios with feelings of shame or inadequacy, and that’s when the spiral begins.
Silencing the Inner Critic
The inner critic is that relentless voice in your head telling you youre not enough, questioning your decisions, and planting seeds of doubt in your mind. But here’s the thing: that voice is not you. Its a product of past experiences and negative beliefs youve internalized. To silence the inner critic, you first need to recognize it for what it is: a remnant of old wounds.
Here are some strategies to begin:
1. Recognize the Critic’s Voice: The first step is identifying when that voice shows up. It’s often disguised as a “well-meaning” internal dialogue—things like “I’m just beingcautious,” or “I need to be perfect.” When you catch yourself thinking this way, pause. Take a breath. Realize that it’s your inner critic, not your truth.
2. Reframe the Negative Thought: When you hear the critic, reframe the thought. Instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough to do this,” try: “I may not have all the answers yet, but I have the skills to figure this out.” Shifting your language from self- doubt to self-compassion is a powerful tool.
3. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to a Friend: We’re often our harshest critics. Imagine if a friend came to you with the same worries you have. Would you berate them? Of course not! You’d offer compassion and support. Now, do that for yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Tactics and Tools to Get Your Confidence Back
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay stuck in the self-doubt spiral. There are specific tactics and tools that can help you build the confidence you need to break free.
1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness helps you get out of your head and into the present moment. When self-doubt starts to creep in, mindfulness brings you back to reality, reminding you that the past doesn’t dictate your future. Meditation can also calm the overthinking storm, allowing you to regain mental clarity.
2. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts is a great way to process emotions and challenges. When you start to feel overwhelmed with self-doubt, take a few minutes to jot down what’s going on in your mind. Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or fear? Most of the time, you’ll find that it’s fear-based, and fear isn’t truth.
3. Affirmations and Visualization: Rewire your brain with positive affirmations. Tell yourself things like, “I am worthy of success,” or “I have the skills to overcome challenges.” Visualizing your success also helps. Picture yourself confidently tackling that big presentation or acing that project. The more you visualize success, the more your confidence grows.
4. Celebrate Small Wins: Build your confidence step by step. Start by setting small, achievable goals. Each time you accomplish one, celebrate it. These wins, no matterhow minor they may seem, remind you that you are capable and can handle whatever comes your way.
Stepping Into Your Power
Stepping into your power means showing up as the best version of yourself, despite the doubts and fears. It’s about trusting your abilities and taking risks, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed. It’s about being unapologetic about your worth and not letting past trauma or negative self-talk hold you back.
Here’s how you can step into your power:
1. Embrace Imperfection: Perfectionism feeds self-doubt. Let go of the need to be perfect, and instead focus on progress. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.
2. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with people and situations that drain you. When you respect your own limits, you reinforce your sense of self-worth.
3. Surround Yourself with Support: Find people who lift you up. Whether it’s a mentor, a friend, or a coach, having a support system makes it easier to face challenges head-on and regain your confidence.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. When you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
The Bottom Line
Self-doubt is not a life sentence. It’s a challenge to overcome, not a permanent condition. By recognizing it for what it is—a trauma response—you can begin to heal and move past it. With the right tools, strategies, and mindset, you can silence your inner critic, build your confidence, and step into your true power.
It’s time to reclaim your confidence, trust yourself, and show up in the world as the powerful, capable person you truly are. The self-doubt spiral may try to pull you in, but with every step you take to silence that inner critic, you get closer to breaking free.