I used to think being a “strong woman” meant keeping quiet, pushing through, and proving I could handle anything without complaint. I wore resilience like a badge, but underneath, I was bruised, not always on the outside, but where no one could see.
Over the years, I’ve written about boundaries, burnout, workplace politics, and the messy, painful realities of gender-based violence and sexual harassment. Each story was a little piece of my truth, even when it was dressed up as advice for someone else.
Here is what I have learned: those experiences weren’t just chapters in my life. They were lessons I had to bleed through to understand.
Lesson 1: Silence isn’t strength
When you’ve been harassed, when someone has crossed your boundaries, when a boss talks over you in a meeting like your words don’t matter, silence feels safe. But silence is also a thief. It steals your confidence, your dignity, and eventually, your identity.
For years, I bit my tongue to avoid being “difficult.” The truth? That didn’t protect me; it only protected those who hurt me. Speaking up doesn’t make you a problem. It makes you powerful.
Lesson 2: Boundaries aren’t selfish, they are survival
I learned the hard way that if you don’t set boundaries, someone else will set them for you… And they’ll suit them, not you. In a toxic workplace, that meant answering calls at 10 p.m., letting colleagues dump their unfinished work on me, and watching my personal life crumble.
Boundaries are not walls; they’re front doors with locks. You get to choose who and what you let in.
Lesson 3: Gender-based violence is not “a woman’s issue”, it’s a human crisis
The statistics are brutal. But what’s worse is how often we normalize the fear. Checking the backseat of your car before getting in. Sending your location to a friend when you take an Uber. Carrying your keys like a weapon in your hand. These aren’t “precautions”, they are survival tactics in a world that still hasn’t made women’s safety a priority.
Every woman I know has a story. Every. Single. One. And if we keep treating those stories as individual tragedies instead of a societal failure, nothing will change.
Lesson 4: Losing confidence is easier than you think. Getting it back is a fight
Toxic workplaces, harassment, microaggressions, and discrimination don’t just chip away at your confidence. They quietly dismantle it, piece by piece.
One day, you’re questioning whether your idea is good enough to share. The next time you are questioning whether you’re good enough, period.
I had to rebuild my confidence brick by brick. Sometimes that meant speaking up even when my voice shook. Sometimes it meant walking away from places and people that thrived on keeping me small.
Lesson 5: Sisterhood saves lives
When I started sharing my stories openly, something incredible happened. Other women started sharing theirs. Not in whispers over coffee, but loudly, publicly, unapologetically. We became mirrors for each other, reflecting the truth: You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.
Women’s Month is not just a celebration; it is a reminder. We have the power to create spaces where women can heal, grow, and roar again.
So here’s my message to you this Women’s Month: Don’t wait for permission to get your voice back. Don’t let your worth be dictated by people who benefit from keeping you small. And don’t ever mistake surviving for living.
We are not here just to endure. We are here to lead, to love, to live loudly, and to demand a world where our daughters never have to learn these lessons the hard way.
Because once you find your voice, you never let it go.