Hi, I’m Anna — and since we celebrated Pride Month in June, makes this one close to my heart. You’d think that, by now, people would know better. That respect for someone’s identity, orientation, and privacy would be a given. But here we are, in 2025, still having to talk about workplace harassment and discrimination for simply being who you are, gay, bi, queer, or however you identify.
Let me tell you, my story.
The first time I experienced this kind of discrimination was in my very first job. I reported to a woman who, for some reason, thought my private life was open season. Every time she spoke to me, it came wrapped in innuendo: “Are you still with that woman?” or, if I wore a new ring, “What are you hiding? Does that ring mean anything?”
These weren’t innocent jokes. These were microaggressions with teeth, delivered in front of colleagues, designed to make me feel like I didn’t belong, like I was something to laugh at or probe at.
One day, I’d had enough. I looked her straight in the eyes and said: “You know what? That ‘woman’ has a name. Please use it in future.”
It stunned her.
The next time she crossed the line, I said, politely but firmly, “I’d appreciate it if you stuck to work-related topics. My private life is not part of this job.”
Did she like it? Not one bit.
From that moment, she turned to gaslighting and more subtle forms of sabotage. But she stopped with the questions. That was my line in the sand, and it mattered.
So, let’s talk about what sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace can look like when you’re gay, and what you can do about it.
1️⃣ Recognize harassment for what it is.
Comments about your personal relationships, your body, your appearance, your identity, that you didn’t invite, count as harassment. Don’t let anyone minimize it as “just teasing” or “just curious.” Whether subtle or blatant, if it makes you feel uncomfortable or targeted, it matters. Trust your gut.
2️⃣ Document everything.
Even if you’re not ready to report it yet, keep a record. Dates, times, what was said, who was present. Email yourself a note if needed or keep a private log. Documentation gives you power when and if you decide to escalate.
3️⃣ Set boundaries clearly.
You don’t owe anyone details about your life. It’s okay to say:
✅ “That’s not something I discuss at work.”
✅ “Please keep our conversation professional.”
✅ “That comment is inappropriate, please don’t say things like that to me again.”
Yes, it can feel scary, but the discomfort of speaking up is often less than the cost of staying silent.
4️⃣ Find allies.
Chances are you’re not the only one who sees what’s happening. Confide in a trusted colleague or a mentor. Allies can validate your experience, witness behaviour, and even speak up on your behalf. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
5️⃣ Use formal channels if necessary.
If it persists or escalates, go to HR or your manager (if they’re not the problem). Share your documentation. Remind them they have a legal obligation to maintain a workplace free of harassment and discrimination.
6️⃣ Take your power back.
Remember: You belong here. Your orientation does not make you “less than.” You don’t have to laugh at their jokes. You don’t have to hide who you are. You don’t have to shrink to make others comfortable.
You can own your space, your voice, and your boundaries.
And if the environment stays toxic, it’s not because of you — it’s because they’re unwilling to change. You can leave with your dignity intact and your head high.
Pride Month reminds us that our fight is still ongoing, not just in marches, but in offices, boardrooms, and break rooms.
Here’s my message to you: You deserve a workplace where you feel safe, respected, and valued, just as you are. And you are not wrong to stand up and demand that.
If you’re going through something like this right now, know you don’t have to figure it out alone. You can reach out to a coach, a therapist, or even to me. Because nobody gets to dim your light just because they’re uncomfortable with who you are.
Happy And Proud, my friends. 🌈
Stand tall. Set your boundaries. And never forget, you’re not the one who should feel ashamed.
— Anna